I’m a person who spends a lot of time in her head.  I like to know things.  I like to learn and to figure out how things work.  I like to know the why so that I can understand.

But I’m learning that life is an energetic ride – and a truer measure of where we’re heading is not a matter of knowledge but of emotion.  Our feelings guide us into alignment with all that we’re wanting, dreaming, aspiring and expanding into.

So I’m practicing being happy.  I’m making feeling good my number one priority.  I do things only because I want to.  I’m catching the word “should” and eliminating it from my vocabulary.  …And do you know what?  It’s working.

Life has become a series of little miracles and amazing happenings.  I see beauty wherever I look.  It’s utterly mind-blowing how much beauty there is to appreciate in our physical world.

This is where TRUST comes back into the picture.  Am I where I want to be?  In some ways, yes; in other ways, no.  But I’m leaning on TRUST to see me through.

There’s still much I don’t understand, but I TRUST I know everything I need to right now.

I still don’t know what form my business will take, but I TRUST that it will be revealed to me in perfect timing, and I TRUST that it will fulfill my dreams in ways that I can’t even imagine right now.

I don’t know how thousands of dollars are going to show up in my experience, but I TRUST that the Universe (which is infinintely more capable than I at this) will orchestrate everything in the best possible way.

I know that what I see in my life right now is the result of what I’ve given my attention and focus to in the past.  And I TRUST that by keeping my focus on things that geel good to me now, I’m creating a future full of all kinds of things that I want and that will give me more reasons to feel happy.

That’s what the saying, “Our power is in the NOW,” is all about.  It is in our NOW that we focus our energy and attention.  And it is that focus that creates the next moment of NOW.  In fact, that’s all we really have to work with – an endless string of NOWs.

When doubt and fear creep into my thoughts, as they occasionally do, I keep pulling back to my number one priority of feeling good.  I focus on how I can regain my joy, my happiness.  And again, I reach for that TRUST – believing that everything really IS okay.

As I practice relying on this TRUST, my inner guidance grows stronger and surer.  My intuition gets louder.  I gather “evidence” and “proof” that All is Well, and that the Universe really does orchestrate things perfectly.  Until I reach that place of complete knowing, until what I see matches what I’m now wanting, I will continue to TRUST that I’m on the right path, on MY path, to becoming all that I can be, all that I already am.

Because, you see, I already TRUST that that is what life is all about – becoming ME, becoming more of me in every way possible and experiencing the power of my creating my life in any way that I choose.  It’s up to me.  And I TRUST that All Is Well.

A potent question.  One I don’t think we give enough consideration to.  Think about what your answer would be…

But STOP!

The question isn’t, “Do you have everything you want?” or “Do you love your __________ (fill in the blank)?”  The question is ARE YOU HAPPY?

This is not a question about external circumstances.  This is a question about your state of being – a completely internal affair.

When put that way, isn’t it easy to see that being happy is SEPARATE from the THINGS in our lives?  Yet, we all seem so ill-equipped to navigate this internal terrain without the touchstones of our physical experiences.  We all hesitate to unequivocally proclaim our happiness because we are not yet THERE – wherever there is.

Being happy does NOT preclude wanting MORE – more money, more love, more fun, more freedom.  Being HAPPY simply declares that I CHOOSE to love where I am – right now, in this moment, however temporary this place may be.  Being HAPPY gives me the power and momentum to attract more into my life – more of whatever I want.

And it is in the PROCESS of attracting, creating, allowing new circumstances into my life that I discover my POWER.  I AM the master of ME.  I AM the creator of my world.

In knowing that it is all up to me, in owning that expansiveness, I allow all sorts of magnificence and abundance into my life.  Happiness is just the portal through which my power flows.
Being happy is not saying that I’m done, that I’ve achieved whatever the goal was – and now there is no more.  To the contrary, choosing happiness invites greater achievements, bigger
opportunities, grander adventures.

Every time I get THERE, I can see farther, pursue greater dreams.  Happiness simply fuels the journey.

And therein lies ME – the truth about my magnificence and the power to create worlds.

My journey can never be the same now that I’ve acknowledged my power, now that I’ve found me.

Let the games continue!

Close your eyes for a minute and recall a moment of pure, utter bliss.  Do you recall the euphoria of that feeling?  The expansiveness of being so much bigger than the physical you in that memory?

Focus on that feeling of bliss, milking it, making it even bigger and brighter.  Savor that feeling for just another moment.

It is in those moments of sheer and utter bliss that we are most closely aligned with our Soul – that beautiful, expansive, loving part of ourselves that is forever connected to God, to Source.  In bliss we stand as one with our Soul, fully embodying the endless and continuous flow of unconditional love from God.  As electricity flows continuously to light a lightbulb, so too does God’s unconditional love flow to and through us to light our lives.

And yet, how often do we unwittingly flip the switch, interrupting our willingness to receive that flow?

Searching for that connection to God, we often erect barriers and obstacles, establishing conditions on our worthiness to receive this endless stream of love from God.  Then we spend our physical lives slowly dismantling those barriers and obstacles.

The truth of the matter, for me at least, is that this wonderful, powerful, healing, all-encompassing stream of loving energy is always available to us.  Always.  Endlessly.  Continuously.

The only question is whether you are open to receiving it?  What would it take for you to allow this endless and continuous love to flow through your life?

Certainly, success can have different meanings depending upon the context.  Financial success can be defined as a big house, nice car, the accumulation of pretty things or the freedom to travel and live as you choose.  Professional success might be defined as fame, respect from your peers, or achieving the top of the corporate ladder.  Personal success… what would that be defined as?  Being in control of your emotions?  A well-developed sense of self and personal acceptance?  A long-term relationship?

It seems to me that many, if not all, typical definitions of success contain an “external” factor.  Whether it’s the accumulation of wealth or accolades, success seems to involve, or at least include, something outside of ourselves.

I’d like to challenge those notions of success.  What if success were simply measured by our happiness?  How successful is your life, then?  Simple – not necessarily easy.

Most of us move through life picking up ideas that our behaviors create others’ happiness.  Getting good grades as kids “makes” our parents happy.  Working hard “makes” our bosses happy.  It’s true that those behaviors make someone else’s life easier, but that’s not really the same thing as making them happy.  And yet our parents and bosses fall victim to the same mistaken belief that someone or something outside of themselves is responsible for their happiness.  The cycle of mistaken belief continues.

If I’m responsible for someone else’s happiness, then it stands to reason that someone else is responsible for mine.

Can you see what a quandary this sets up?  How successful have you ever been at making someone else happy?  And how effective have the people and things in your life been at making you happy?

Whenever we set our sights on things outside of ourselves to make us happy, we’re bound to fail.  This is where our current definition of success falls short.  I can acquire uncountable wealth and accumulate myriads of treasure and still be miserable.  Would my life be deemed a success or not?  Is the point of life to accumulate things or to know and love one’s self?

I’ve come to value the knowing, loving and accepting of myself as infinitely more valuable than rooms and rooms full of “stuff.”  My happiness is paramount to my success as a soul in physical form.  By using my happiness as the benchmark to gauge my life and guide my decisions, I move closer and closer to embodying all of the possibilities that my life holds.  I step more fully into the divine, spiritual being that I truly am.  By choosing happiness, I bring God into my daily experience.

To me, THAT is a much more meaningful definition of a successful life.

What on earth am I babbling about, you’re probably asking yourself.  And that would be a very valid question.  Please allow me to explain.

For the past six years, I’ve owned and operated my own scrapbooking business, almost single-handedly.  Certainly, I have had numerous people help me along the way, but the bottom line has been that the weight of the business fell on my shoulders.  Many of you have heard me jokingly refer to Sue in design, Sue in production, Sue in accounts receivable, Sue in shipping and Sue in customer service.  You get the idea.  Business owners wear many hats – and I’ve worn them all at some point or another.

On Monday, my website was taken down by the hosting company because it had been compromised by hackers who were now sending out phishing spam emails from it.  I seriously have no idea how one would accomplish this – but apparently computer hackers aren’t limited by my same lack of knowledge.  And ignorance of the process does not protect oneself from the outcome.  So Albums & Answers’ website was deleted.

*POOF*  With a few keystrokes, evidence of six years of my focus, time, energy and efforts disappeared.  While I’ve been slowly moving in this direction anyway, I was still caught off-guard by the overwhelming grief I felt when the site disappeared.  A myriad of emotions surfaced as I processed through the thoughts, consequences and ramifications of this ending.

Many of you are unaware of the new dream that has been forming and gathering momentum in the background of my running this scrapbook business.  Over the past couple years, I’ve also been pursuing my interest in spiritual growth and psychic development.  You can imagine my surprise as I came to realize they were one in the same pursuits.

In typical Sue fashion, wanting to share what I’m learning and to help people to see life as the amazing adventure that I now recognize it to be, a new business idea began to take shape.  And while I’m saddened at the ending of Albums & Answers, I again see how endings are just the beginning of something new.  So I proudly introduce you to Soul Speaking – my personal growth business to help connect you to your authentic self.

Over the past few years, my understanding of “truth” has undergone a huge transformation.  Truth has come to represent nothing more than those things that align us with our authentic selves.  One person’s truth is not necessarily the same as another’s.  So how do we discern our own truth amid all of the “stories” we’ve been told all of our lives?  The answer is surprisingly simple (not easy, but simple):  we know our truth by how it feels.  When we feel joy, love, excitement, bliss and those types of feelings, we are experiencing those delicious moments of connection to our authentic self, to our Source, to God.

The goal, then, to live in connection with our authentic self can be summed up by a few short words:  Follow your bliss.  It is my goal with Soul Speaking to help you know your Self, embrace your Life and live your Joy.  To accomplish that goal, I now offer several services.

Joy Coaching provides on-going (ideally weekly) support to examine the choices you’re currently making which are shaping your current reality.  By accepting responsibility for everything that shows up in your life, you now have the power to change those things that you don’t like.  Together we find ways to  move your closer and closer to a life filled with joy and bliss.

Reiki Healing, an ancient form of energy healing, helps to restore the natural flow of energy through your body and creates a state of deep relaxation which promotes healing and relieves stress.  Ideally, reiki is performed in person by the practitioner laying their hands on a fully clothed client who is laying on a massage table.  However, reiki can also be sent long-distance as energy is not bound by spatial constraints.  A reiki session leaves the client feeling deeply relaxed, promoting our natural state of well-being.

I also offer Akashic Record Readings to help gain perspective on your life by accessing the vibrational (Akashic) record of your soul’s journey through all of time.  These records contain wisdom and guidance from the broader knowing of our soul.  This broader perspective can give us practical insight into our daily lives that we often miss while we’re embroiled in our personal dramas.

Soul Speaking is about giving voice to the spirit within you, connecting you to the wisdom and guidance of that inner spirit.  Life truly is a magnificent adventure.  Each moment holds the potential for joy.  The choice is ours.  What will you choose?

Contact Sue at sue@soulspeaking.net for more information on any of these services.  Limited appointments are available through June.  What are YOU waiting for to start living a life filled with joy?!

Are you familiar with my neighborhood?  Maybe you even have a temporary residence here too.  At the very least, I’m sure you’ve driven past and seen the sign at the entrance.  It reads “VictimHood.”  Do you know it?

The landlords are obviously upset with my decision to move on.  They like to keep the houses and apartments full here.  And since there’s usually a waiting list to get into the ‘hood, it has never been difficult for them to keep the neighborhood full.  But times are changing.  Maybe you’ve noticed that too.

People are getting restless.  My neighbors were just talking the other day on how they’re planning to make some changes themselves.  They realize that they DO have choices, and they plan to implement those changes soon.  The landlords are going to have a fit about that too.

See?  The landlords here like to have everyone believe that the tenants of the ‘hood have no where else to go, that they won’t be welcome in any other neighborhood – or that there is no room in any other neighborhood.  But my neighbors are beginning to see through those arguments.  They’ve felt the need to take some control back in their lives – to spruce the place up with some color and texture of their own choosing, and the landlords are livid.  Because the rule in the neighborhood is that “You have NO choice.”  The landlords tell everyone that life is unfair and these things just happen to you.  There’s nothing that you can do about them.

Ah, but the landlords are wrong.  And they even know they’re wrong, but they wouldn’t stay in business very long if that became common knowledge, would they?  So the landlords perpetuate the myth that the tenants have no other option but to stay here.

So, I’ve told my next door neighbors that I’m moving out.  I’m tired of feeling out of control.  It’s true that I can’t control what happens in my life, but I most certainly CAN control what I think and then feel about it.  I can see life as an amazing adventure full of opportunities to identify what I don’t want and make it into what I DO want.  I can appreciate the amazing people who I’ve met along my travels, the amazing friends who are traveling with me.

I can see the things that go wrong in my life as chances to make changes and create new things that I do want.  I can see life as the mirror that it is, showing me those parts of myself that move me closer to God and those parts of me that make me feel separated from God.

The key, it has occurred to me, is to view life with a slight impersonal detachment, as if I’m watching a movie that I’m both starring in and directing at the same time.  It’s tricky to play both of those roles, but one thing is for certain.  I have NO chance of doing that if I stay in VictimHood.  There’s no room for those kinds of choices here.

So I’m moving out.  I’m even thinking of tearing down my house – leaving one less place for someone else to move into.  Eventually I know that the whole neighborhood will be torn down and replaced with a brighter, newer neighborhood.  Maybe it’ll be called ConsciousLiving or FreeChoice.  In any case, I am SO done with VictimHood that I can’t leave fast enough.

As a childhood survivor of sexual abuse myself, I can maybe add some thoughts to help make sense of such tragic experiences. It is true that every experience simply IS, as Theos has said. It is we, as humans, who add the value judgment onto each one – this is good (desirable), this is bad (evil, negative). I’m not dismissing the significance of experiencing abuse – not at all, but it IS a great source of opportunity. However, in our ego-based reality, one is not given much outward support to navigate through such experiences, especially at the time of their occurrence. We’re often forced to move through them in silence (adding power to the secret of it all) which only intensifies the loneliness, blame, guilt and rage.

While not condoning such behavior, it must be true that somehow we are in alignment vibrationally or otherwise this  would not exist within our sphere of experience.  I like to think of it that it has given me opportunities to experience intense emotions that I might not otherwise know first-hand. I firmly believe that in Spirit (and consequently in our physical reality) there are no victims. We come having made choices, many “forgotten”, but choices nonetheless. And if abuse has been part of my experience, then that was “set up” at some level (definitely not consciously) to afford certain opportunities.

Someone once explained it to me like this:
Imagine that you are in Spirit, making preparations to come into this incarnation. You’re surrounded by your soul family, your guides – all of your heavenly helpers – everyone who is helping you to make plans for this lifetime. Now say that you’ve decided that you want to experience Forgiveness on a grand scale. On a scale of 1 to 10, you’ve decided to go all the way – and you want to experience a Level 10 Forgiveness. So what would it take to give you that experience? From a human perspective, it would probably have to be something monumental: the death/loss of a child, abuse at the hands of a loved one, murder, mayhem. Something BIG, right?
Now you turn to your soul family who loves you beyond measure, who wants for you everything that you aspire for yourself, and you ask, “Who among you is willing to help me experience a Level 10 Forgiveness?” Slowly, everyone drops their eyes – surely you will not ask THEM to be the one to create this experience for you, knowing that it will more than likely cost them your love in this lifetime. Even though this lifetime is but a blip of time – your family doesn’t want to lose your love for even that short of a window. Who among this group of loving soul family members will be the “bad guy” for you? Finally, one steps forward and says, “I’ll do it. I’ll help you to have this experience because I love you so much, and I want you to have everything that you desire.”

So now this opportunity exists to move through all of the feelings, emotions (energy in motion), and challenges that such an experience creates. While the feelings can be difficult, they ARE navigable. Fortunately, once the silence is broken, there ARE resources to help understand and process the feelings (which can be incredibly intense) that come up as a result of something like this. There are other people (perhaps unfortunately) who have experienced similar things and who can help lead you to the other side – where, honestly, things don’t look as bleak as they do right now.

I share these thoughts in hopes that if you too have experienced something like this, or know someone who has, and are struggling through the emotional tempest created, perhaps you will find solace in reaching for a different perspective.  I will hold you in the loving Light where again you will recognize and know your wholeness – which has not been marred in any way by any experiences you’ve had. Your divinity holds you as creator of all, part of All That Is – and from that place, once again, you will know that ALL IS WELL.

2011 brings us a renewed opportunity to focus on the changes we’d LIKE to witness. Something about new beginnings seems to foster a renewed interest in starting over – THIS will be the year to lose that extra weight, to finally start writing that book, to take that trip – just because.

For me, 2011 will be about walking even more boldly onto this path of spiritual growth and service. I will embrace the trinity of Mind, Body and Soul – equally honoring all those parts of myself. I will UNCONDITIONALLY TRUST myself, my intuition and my gifts, as I’ve grown to unconditionally trust the Universe to support me. I will ALLOW and RELEASE those things which no longer serve me on this journey, even when I don’t understand what I’m releasing. I will appreciate my intellect without getting stuck in it. I will believe that I AM WORTHY of these spiritual gifts, and I will willingly offer my service to the world. I ACCEPT who I am. I ACCEPT my WORTHINESS. I ACCEPT all that Life brings my way – the pain, the learning, the joy, the amazing people and the wonderful experiences. I AM WORTHY OF IT ALL!

Yep, 2011 is going to be about stepping even more fully into ME! It’s going to be a phenomenal journey. Where is 2011 going to take you??

Last Friday night, I was to meet up with a friend and his girlfriend to take in the awesome light displays around the Mormon Temple in downtown Salt Lake City.  I was warned that parking would be a nightmare – no problem, I thought, I’ll just have my angels line up a space for me.  Sure enough, I drove downtown, found an out-of-the-way street near the Temple Square – and after driving around the block only once, found a parking place just a few car lengths from the Square itself.  (Yeah!  Thanks, Angels!)  My friend and his girlfriend hadn’t planned ahead quite as well.  After driving around for a half hour, I told my friend that he was supposed to ask his angels to arrange for a parking place.  He just laughed at me.  “Fine,” I said, “I’ll do it for you.  Call me when you’ve gotten here.”  So I went into a bathroom, fervently praying all the while that my angels would show them a place to park.  As soon as I walked out of the stall, I found 3 pennies – signs from my angels – so I knew they’d found something.  A few minutes later, they called letting me know where to meet them – since they’d found somewhere to park.  (I KNEW it!)

I just love when things like that happen!  It’s hard to argue with that kind of immediate response.  While my friend might just laugh it off as a coincidence, I certainly know better.  There are NO coincidences.

I had another delicious thing happen this morning.  I was chatting with a girlfriend on the phone, and she was telling me that she couldn’t remember where she’d stashed some jerseys she’d bought her kids in October as Christmas presents.  She’d torn apartt her office, but couldn’t find them!  She wasn’t looking forward to tearing apart the rest of the house in search of these hidden gifts.  So I told her I’d pull out my pendulum and see if we could figure out where she’d put them.  After a few questions, my pendulum (which has been programmed to only get information from my higher self) indicated that the jerseys were somewhere in her bedroom.  I kept asking questions trying to narrow down where they were.  Soon we were “told” they were in her closet.

Now, while I’ve been to her house numerous times, I’ve never been in her bedroom closet, so I’m not familiar with its layout.  I asked her to describe what was in there – shelves, hanging rods, a few drawers, etc.  I asked my pendulum if the jerseys were on the left.  “YES”  Were they on the floor?  “YES”  Were they in one of the drawers?  “YES”  So while I’m asking questions, she’s looking through the closet – and opened the drawers.

All of a sudden, she’s screaming, “Oh my god!  Oh my god!  I can’t believe it.”  I’m thinking, “What just happened?”  She said, “Why’d I put them in the drawer?  I never put anything in there.”  She’d found the missing jerseys in the drawer – which she obviously wouldn’t have looked in for quite some time since she didn’t think she’d put stuff there.  She was AWED – and I was tickled!  So happy to help!  So happy I’m willing to LISTEN to spirit.

It was such a FUN experience!  I just loved it!  And it was fun too that my “credibility” was raised even higher in her eyes – and my own.  I KNOW that I’m connected.

Don’t you?!